I'm Back, So Lock Up Your Daughters And Arm Your Sons

I went to a vacation from Monday to Friday. Got to skip work, so that was nice.

Came back on Friday, an eventful Friday. Got up at 8, packed, were out by ten. Drove home. Wanted to write, but my brother hogged the computer, watching an anime equivalent of Top Gun, Macross Plus. Because he's nerdy that way.

By the way, Quentin Tarantino's speech about Top Gun from Sleep With Me, stolen from Imdb:


Sid: It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?
Sid: Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!

----

Okay, now that that's over, back to my life. Fuck Quentin.

We get home. I've been looking forward to two things. I submitted something back in May, my writing sample, my first big writing sample, so that I can get paid for doing this. I've been looking forward to it. It was the Holocaust article I wrote earlier, about long-lost relatives, forgotten letters, and discovering your family history. Another was the contest I entered, to start a City of Heroes storyline. Either one of them could be a break into writing for a living. I'd been hoping, waiting for months for a response. Nothing.

Until I got back from vacation. This was in. I checked my e-mail. It's G-Mail, so you see the first sentence of the e-mail is there. The first words were "Thank you."

I was doomed. And I got rejected.

Then it turned out I didn't win the contest.

Moped a bit, wrote a bit for another submission. Because you can't whine, just write.

Then I went out with my friends. We drank a bit, smoked a few cigars. Then me and another guy went to play basketball. Had a good time, except for a few annoying kids.

Went home, slept at 4 in the mornin'.

That was it. Nothing much happened this weekend.

Won't Be Here

I won't be posting for the next week, because I am going on vacation.

I am leaving for a condo in Cypress Hills, this great forest reserve.

We've been going there for 7 years.

It's a family thing.

We enjoy it. It's kind of like the reality show Big Brother, only instead of everybody hating each other by the end of the season, everybody likes each other and wishes it could last longer.

The joke is, none of the stuff we do is very special. It's everything you could do in the city - mini-golf, walking around, watching movies, playing cards. Nothing special.

But we're together, doing it. It's this wonderful kind of insular joy for the family.

Anyway, that's what I'll be doing. But I'll be planning blog posts, and there'll be more when I come back.

News Link

This is a B action movie in the making.

The Gangster Disciples, Latin Kings and Vice Lords were born decades ago in Chicago's most violent neighborhoods. Now, their gang graffiti is showing up 6,400 miles away in one of the world's most dangerous neighborhoods -- Iraq

Starring Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, and Fat Joe in "Street Soldiers" - coming straight to DVD for you.

Also, scary for the people living in the ghetto:

Of paramount concern is whether gang-affiliated soldiers' training will make them deadly urban warriors when they return to civilian life.


The full article.

Yesterday's Pic, Or, Bullshit

I didn't see this week's theme until now. It's basically an interaction between two halves.

So the first one was a picture of a Stalinist structure, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. He made a lot of buildings like that, called wedding cake style. He liked it. It was an ugly picture.

Then it was another building. More politics, only now it was modern ugly, modernist ugly, with the Scottish Parliament. The modern western ugly versus the old Soviet ugly. There is the clash, both in political buildings.

So now we're in politics, and what it can do when it comes into the real world. Like the destruction of two statues that had been standing for a millenia and a half.

This is a destruction that destroys beauty, but destruction have an eerie calm beauty, like the Peacekeeper flight trails. Weird symmetrical trails, like what you'd imagine God would do.

Then bringing it back to the much smaller scale - flaming cocktails. Fun beauty, with the same destructive fire that can destroy cities with a nuclear bomb (remember, a nuclear bomb destroys not with radiation, but with massive fire.) It can be a party trick.

So we're getting light, now we're going to Jean Arp, who had to escape Germany because of the First World War. He lied. He escaped from politics and the surrealist movement, but he ends up looking cute/trite. Nothing serious.

Compare this small portrait, with a cute little thing over his eye, to this massive unproduced Stalinist building of him, as this huge statue. Is that any more absurd than anything the Surrealists made?

Anyway, just some thoughts about destruction, politics, and beauty.

It's all bullshit, though, I admit, but eh. Go read CNN.com or any other website if you want something that isn't pointless meandering.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Yesterday's Pic

Yesterday's pic was Jean Arp. He was a sculptor, first Surrealist, then part of Abstract-Creation, because Surrealism was getting way too popular. It was like, they totally sold out, you know?

Avoided being drafted by filling out by the Germans in WWI by filling out a form all with dates, then filling it out with a date, then adding it up.

Although really, do you really want a Surrealist painter/part-time poet with you on the front lines? Would he really help out the war effort that much?

Feh.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Flaming Cocktail recipe

Flaming Lamborghini - 1 oz Galliano - 1 oz Kahlua - 1 oz Blue Curacao - 1 oz Chartreuse

Directions/Comments: Pour Galliano & Chartreuse into the martini glass. Pour the Kahlua & Blue Curacao into different shot glasses. Light the martini glass and drink fast with a straw. While drinking add both shot glasses to the martini glass.

Stolen from BarMeister.com.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Yesterday's Pic, Or The Last Thing You'll See Before You Die

That was the Peacekeeper missile flight plans. It was done at the Kwajalein Atoll. All eight of those came from one single missle. Those missiles weren't live - if they were, every one of those lines was 25 Hiroshimas.

Likely to fuck you up, for sure.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Yesterday's Pic

Yesterday I showed a picture of the Bamiyan Valley.

This place was a road for Chinese exchanging silk through to the Roman Empire, back in the day. It was located in the middle east, and was combined into a crazy combination of Persian, Middle East, and Greek influences, Greco-Buddhist.

It was the site of one of the first Buddhist statues, with two huge standing Buddhas - 55 and 37 m, or about a third of the Statue of Liberty. They were a monument, and a World Heritage site. They were a symbol of man's great works towards his ideals, his beliefs, his gods.

Too bad they were located in Afghanistan.

Right before the U.S. invasion, the Taliban blew them up with anti-aircraft missiles. They were idolatrous. Just in case the ensuing combat DIDN'T destroy them, I suppose.

What an age we live in. We can create wonders over years and destroy them in minutes.

Hurray.

Nice Pic o' the Day

Yesterday's Pic

Scottish Parliament.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Yesterday's Pic

Russia's Ministry of Information, Taken from Some Guy's Site.

Nice Pic O' The Day

Send Me Pictures

Well, at the end of this long homeless-person-on-the-street rant that I call my blog, I've come to a decision.

I will make you, my readers, part of this stupidity.

Now, I know I have no readers, but in case you somehow found this site, you can join it too. If you wish. Or, you can stay far away, and go to a nice site. I've listed some on the sidebar, but they don't work.

I've always found bathrooms to be fascinating, architecturally speaking. It's my favourite room of the house - generally more clean, more well-kept, more used than any of the other rooms.

So send me pictures of bathrooms without any people in them, if you wish.

Or you can just keep on listening to this long unedited rant.

Or you can go away.

Or you can have sex.

Or you can make the world a better place.

Or you can watch television programming.

Or...

There Is No Justice In Funny

Why does Drew Carey still get a career? Seriously, that stupid "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" started sucking about 9 years ago...and it's only been on for 8.

Meanwhile, Dave Chappelle goes crazy, gets his show cancelled, then we don't get any funny. Because he can't handle success - he goes back to doing stand-up after he's got a great show.

Hey, what's the last great sitcom that people watched? Sure, there's Arrested Development. But seriously, there's a difference between shows you should see and shows you must see. Arrested Development was a show you must see, because it NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT. Other sitcoms you should watch, but you don't need to. It will go on, it has enough support. Somebody else has heard about it. The show has self-confidence.

Here's hoping Arrested has that development.

By the way, Newsradio was good until Hartman died. Same for Cheers, except when Kirstie Allie came in.

That is all.

Iron In Rocks Make River Red

I Bought Jeans Today

God have mercy on my soul for what I have done.

I went into Value Village. I talked about my shopping there earlier, about how it was slumming for entertainment and because I'm horribly cheap. But anyway.

Why am I writing about this? The site's name. And also, it's pretty momentous for me. I haven't worn jeans in 7 years.

I bought a pair of blue jeans for 10 bucks. It was a Point Zero design. The funny thing is that it's got this strap or some shit from the back pocket to right around the thigh, where the pant rivets are. I'm guessing it's for a gun or some other kind of tool.

I know you're bored now, so here's a link to the porn version of Youtube.

I always used to wear jeans. But I stopped wearing jeans. Part of adolescent change, I suppose. Trying to be a grown-up. I couldn't, but I could at least not wear jeans.

So now I'm wearing jeans. I've accepted my childhood, I don't need to prove anything.

A bit of history on denim.

Then everyone in the 50s started wearing jeans to be unique and rebellious, taking workmen's wear and making it cool. Which means that in 2050 maybe this will be cool:



















This will be marketed. People will be paying 500 for a special brand name design of this.

By the way, if you care what the brand name of jeans are, you're shallow.

Back to the jeans. It was the symbol of Americans, Cowboys, and all that crap. By the way, when I was watching my uncle's cattle being branded, I noticed they all wore Wrangler's. Like Fosters for Australians, Tim Horton's for Canada, jeans were a product that symbolized a nation. Branding on a sociological scale. A product entering our national subconsciousness, through aggressive marketing, stupid punks trying to rebel, and corporate fatcats sucking off that and making a profit on it.

But whatever, fuck socialism. Sure, jeans have been marketed into our cultural subconsciousness, but they're comfy.

And I always thought kids wore jeans. It was somehow more adult not to wear jeans, because I'd worn jeans all throughout my childhood, before I started thinking about being an adult at adolescent. So now I'm 20, I'm wearing jeans. I stopped trying to be an adult, because I was one already.

By the way, according to an Italian judge, women can't be raped if they're wearing Jeans. Only the wearer can take off the jeans. So another reason to wear jeans - they're rape repellant ("rape-llant") That would be an awesome ad campaign. "Jeans - Rape-proof."

Levi's, contact me, we'll work something out.

Give Generously

On Lowriders and Bitches

Okay, now I've watched both the Still D.R.E. video and the trailer for Fast and the Furious. Both of them feature good-looking sluts at car events.

But seriously, how many women are there at these events?

Are many girls even interested in these public male phallic displays? Ooh, ooh, me smash other guy, me have lowrider that can "jump" so high it can flip over and crash, ooh. Half the time, it's competition between guys.

Are they paid to be there? Who are these girls that just happen to defy and embrace gender conventions, i.e., be automobile enthusiasts and also have a 36-24-36 figure?

I mean, even if there are girls in the crowd, they're probably being dragged along by their boyfriends. Even in that ideal situation, it's gotta be at least a 1:1 ratio of male-females.

And on another note, are girls REALLY impressed by low-riders? Seriously, would you be impressed if you took an old car and paid thousands of dollars to make it into a seesaw? Every time I see those things, I laugh.

Drifting needs skill and guts, but also a lot of money for the tires you'll have to replace. Maybe all those drifters secretly own tire stores.

What happened to the days when it was an actual race? Speed, an actual competition. Now everybody's all focused on whether or not your car's a see-saw or how good you make turns.

Seriously, I would pay money to see someone drift, then activate the hydraulics. That will be the next automotive craze - lowdrifting. You may think that it won't work, but it will.

Mark my words, when you see some idiot in a Honda Civic wit 10 grand of automotive parts, those stupid lights that glow underneath your car, and those stupid stickers on their car do a peel-out with their face pushed against the steering wheel because there also pushing up their back tires, you will call me a prophet. Only by then it will be too late, because idiots are already acting upon the prophecies of smart men.