On Lowriders and Bitches
Okay, now I've watched both the Still D.R.E. video and the trailer for Fast and the Furious. Both of them feature good-looking sluts at car events.
But seriously, how many women are there at these events?
Are many girls even interested in these public male phallic displays? Ooh, ooh, me smash other guy, me have lowrider that can "jump" so high it can flip over and crash, ooh. Half the time, it's competition between guys.
Are they paid to be there? Who are these girls that just happen to defy and embrace gender conventions, i.e., be automobile enthusiasts and also have a 36-24-36 figure?
I mean, even if there are girls in the crowd, they're probably being dragged along by their boyfriends. Even in that ideal situation, it's gotta be at least a 1:1 ratio of male-females.
And on another note, are girls REALLY impressed by low-riders? Seriously, would you be impressed if you took an old car and paid thousands of dollars to make it into a seesaw? Every time I see those things, I laugh.
Drifting needs skill and guts, but also a lot of money for the tires you'll have to replace. Maybe all those drifters secretly own tire stores.
What happened to the days when it was an actual race? Speed, an actual competition. Now everybody's all focused on whether or not your car's a see-saw or how good you make turns.
Seriously, I would pay money to see someone drift, then activate the hydraulics. That will be the next automotive craze - lowdrifting. You may think that it won't work, but it will.
Mark my words, when you see some idiot in a Honda Civic wit 10 grand of automotive parts, those stupid lights that glow underneath your car, and those stupid stickers on their car do a peel-out with their face pushed against the steering wheel because there also pushing up their back tires, you will call me a prophet. Only by then it will be too late, because idiots are already acting upon the prophecies of smart men.
But seriously, how many women are there at these events?
Are many girls even interested in these public male phallic displays? Ooh, ooh, me smash other guy, me have lowrider that can "jump" so high it can flip over and crash, ooh. Half the time, it's competition between guys.
Are they paid to be there? Who are these girls that just happen to defy and embrace gender conventions, i.e., be automobile enthusiasts and also have a 36-24-36 figure?
I mean, even if there are girls in the crowd, they're probably being dragged along by their boyfriends. Even in that ideal situation, it's gotta be at least a 1:1 ratio of male-females.
And on another note, are girls REALLY impressed by low-riders? Seriously, would you be impressed if you took an old car and paid thousands of dollars to make it into a seesaw? Every time I see those things, I laugh.
Drifting needs skill and guts, but also a lot of money for the tires you'll have to replace. Maybe all those drifters secretly own tire stores.
What happened to the days when it was an actual race? Speed, an actual competition. Now everybody's all focused on whether or not your car's a see-saw or how good you make turns.
Seriously, I would pay money to see someone drift, then activate the hydraulics. That will be the next automotive craze - lowdrifting. You may think that it won't work, but it will.
Mark my words, when you see some idiot in a Honda Civic wit 10 grand of automotive parts, those stupid lights that glow underneath your car, and those stupid stickers on their car do a peel-out with their face pushed against the steering wheel because there also pushing up their back tires, you will call me a prophet. Only by then it will be too late, because idiots are already acting upon the prophecies of smart men.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 1:37 AM
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