Killer British Schoolgirls

From the Globe and Mail:

Winston Churchill's wartime government authorized the creation of units of teenage girls trained to assassinate Nazi soldiers in the event of an invasion, new research reveals. Hundreds of girls as young as 14 were taught how to garrote soldiers, blind them with their fingertips and stab them through the ribs, reports The Sunday Times of London. They were also trained as snipers - and were thought to be better shots than boys their age. Jean Tansley, who joined the Women's Junior Air Corps agede 14, told BBC Channel Five: "We were taught all these horrific things - it didn't seem right for well brought-up girls like us." But invsaion was imminent and a German fighter bomber had strafed a local nursery school. "after that I could kill a German - I would have willingly done it," she said.

Re: Yesterday

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday, happy bithday, happy birthday to me.

A Tourist of Value Village

I'm a regular tourist in the Value Village.

Out of the racks upon racks of shirts, there is occassionally one good one, but it's usually in bad taste. For example, I have a bowling style darts shirt, which I like, but it's got a bloody demonic hand clutching a dartboard. It's for the Italian Club Darts of Terror.

But, I shop there, sometimes without buying anything. I go there for the feeling of power I get. Now, obviously, some people have to shop there. The elderly, or the financially disabled.
One old lady ahead of me tried to give a post-dated check for under 30 dollars of merchandise.

She lacks financial power. Of course, imagine the British Royalty. They can't be seen wearing clothing that is rather normal. They're just as constrained from relative middle class normality by their wealth. They have to maintain their wealth, they can't look poor; it's unbefitting.

The rich and the poor can't afford to buy normal clothes - for the former, in the name of social taste - "It's so ghetto" - and the poor, because they simply can't afford to economically.

But, I'm well off enough to afford the rich clothes. I can buy them. But then I would just be normal, another undistinguished middle class kid who shops at American Eagle. And the purpose of buying clothing is to get attention to yourself - keeping warm is minimal. Why do you think people work out? Why do you think people buy $100 or $1 jeans?

I guess shopping at Value Village, for me, is about power. I shop at Value Village, but I can choose not to. Shopping becomes an experience. I am not a resident of Value Village, forced to pay the requirements of poverty, but am merely a tourist. I am above it, yet I enter it. No one ever feels quite so rich as when they're walking among the slums. Imagine a man with a top hat, monacle and tuxedo walking around Compton. That's power, and that's me, in Value Village.

The Plot Thickens...

So hey, I have a brother, who works at BlockBuster.

As I was coming up from the basement to where he was hanging out with my mom and dad, just as I opened the door, he exclaimed:

"So you're telling me I'm a twin?"

As was later explained to me, my mom was originally carrying twins. She didn't know this until she miscarried. She was told that one was dead, but my brother was alive.

Life's consolation prize, I guess.

My brother came home after winning the BlockBuster Employee of the Month. My father then said, "This, from the kid who wasn't supposed to make it?"

My brother asked him about this, and...

He was fine with it, he re-assured my parents. It wasn't going to affect him. He laughed, shocked.

Later, as he was playing video games and talking with me, he said that, wait a minute, this probably will affect him.

He was playing Devil May Cry. The villain in that is the hero's twin brother.

A Thought

I have figured out how to be successful. At any moment, at any time, you have two choices. What you want to do, and what you don't.

Pick the latter and you will be very successful.

What I Saw At The Mall

I was at the mall buying a tie, when I saw some straight up busta fools.

These were kids who dressed up like they were extras in a rap video.

What is this, I asked, straight outta Compton pre-school?

The Nerds Other Nerds Make Fun Of...

Okay, now, while there's nothing wrong with it [homosexuality], there is something wrong with an anime convention solely devoted to anime about gay pretty boys.

Click here.

I Am A Dirty, Dirty Man...

Hey, here's Mad Libs with porn. Enjoy.

"Yes, sweetie. A spanking is as more of a sexual thing than you realize.
And Linda always makes love to me after she spanks me. I am usually so hot
that I go kaboom almost immediately. Sometimes I go kaboom even while she is doing it
to me. Those tend to be really intense kabooms."

Random Confused B.S. Philosophy

Anyone who isn't a nihilist is a pain apologist.

Funny Story

Frankie Lymon was the lead singer of his band, The Teenagers. People liked him because he was a break from the other jeans/leather jacket wearing Rebel Without A Cause fad going on at the time. They wore nice sweaters with a T on them, and Frankie Lymon sang a near soprano. They did dance moves and backflips while on stage. He was, by all popular perception, a good kid.

Turns out later, while he was performing, he hung out with pretty girls reported to be his "mother." He later admitted he'd been a pimp since age 10. After an unsuccessful solo career, he became a drug addict who died of an overdose.

An Open Letter To Michael Moore

Mr. Moore -
Hi, I'm a regular reader of your site. The site seems to focus on how bad military recruiters are, and how heroic the students are who protest them. It was a prime focus of Fahrenheit.
I'm just curious. Why are they so bad?
Are you protesting the concept of the military itself? That people would actually join it?
I mean, soldiers themselves, nor military recruiters, are essentially doing something wrong. They're just telling people that the military is a career option.
Are they lying about it in some way?
The military has done bad things. Allende, obviously. Does that make the entire concept of the military wrong?
Even if the Iraq War is wrong, does that automatically make the soldiers who fight the war wrong? I mean, there must have been some Nazi soldiers that tried their best to look out for their fellow soldiers, and who generally believed they were fighting for a better world.
Are the military given special privileges that other groups aren't?
Or are they just the main organization using their right to free speech to advocate joining up to fight a war you despise?
I generally don't like those guys. When the Canadian Armed Forces came up to recruit, most of us laughed and took the free pencils.
But I just don't seem to find a reason on your website that says why they're bad.
It's a harsh reality, but for the poor, the military is an option to better themselves. It's a shitty option, but it's an option.
Do you think that even those who suffer the most within the U.S. can't say No to the military?
Do you think that having a military is a bad thing? Do you want to go back to isolationism?
Because, so far, I'm thinking that you think that the military is a bad. And therefore, military recruiters are bad, because they recruit for a bad organization.
And that just seems pretty simplistic to me. But someone as knowledgeable as yourself must have better reasons than that, so I'd just like an explanation, if you could find the time to e-mail me.
- Marshall McMahon

I'll tell you if I get a response.

Irony Blows

Okay, I have this blog, where I talk about me and nothing important. I'm in a Journalism class, and I have to write a personal column.

I can't find anything through everything I've written here.

Ack.

Suggestions would be appreciated. Otherwise, I'm going with the one where I talked about hamburgers.

That guy from Popeye ruled. He's got his own line of hamburger restaurants in England. He rules.

A Thought, From 18

I don’t remember much about my childhood except the fear, the anger, the fighting, awakening to girls, and the idiocy. In other words, I remember a great childhood.

Don't Funk Me Out.

The Riddle of the Sands is this boring ass turn of the century spy novel about yachting. It stunk on ice.

Here are some quotes taken out of context.

'I could make confessions, too, if I liked.

By Jove! we want a man like this Kaiser, who doesn't wait to be kicked, but works like a nigger for his country, and sees ahead.'

Herrgott! she was difficult to satisfy!

I was finally cured of funk.

'Hitherto I believe we stand fairly well.

Confound that bob-stay!

Glass falling heavily this morning, to our great disgust.

TO RESUME my story in narrative form.

'Well, I want to see that dyke.

'Grimm!' We both ejaculated at once.

He was on his defence, and in a deuce of a funk, too.

Song I'm Listening To:

Ozzy Osbourne, "Walk On Water."

Give up the funk!
Geben Sie auf den funk!