Why We Will Never Achieve Utopia
Sorry I didn't post for a while. The abusive relationship that is this blog continues, as does the cosmic dance, under the disco ball we call love.
See, that was a bad metaphor - this IS an abusive relationship.
But I have an excuse. I came down with mutant super-leprosy. I flew on a Concorde I stole from a Frenchman to the mountains of Tibet for a cure. I saw many things, and the monks made me sign a contract that's legally binds me from mentioning the things I learned. However, I can mention that it involves tobasco sauce, over the counter cough medicine, an electric motor, and a tuba.
Anyway, before I noticed the first stage of mutant super-leprosy (violent uncontrolled anal spasms, the second-most painful of all spasms) I was working entering data for credit card applications. Because that is what I do for pleasure, not cash. And I noticed something.
The human race will never achieve its lofty goals.
Although this is an inference. But constantly, constantly on credit card applications people where making mistakes. Simple mistakes. Like writing down your birthday as December 12, 2007, or something. Because we're not interested in your age - only when your birthday is, so that the credit card company may send you a cake and a stripper of your preferred gender or species, if you're a sick bastard and you enjoy that particular -iality.
And people not putting down your income, because really, a credit company doesn't need to know that kind of stuff. We need to know how the business phone, how long you worked there, all that, but we don't need to know how much you make. And you know what, maybe you don't know how much you make. Maybe you just think as long as I can get by, I'm doing fine. Maybe you go to the bank and if money comes out of the ATM, you're set. But if you're that person, maybe you shouldn't be applying for a credit card.
And you know something? All of these are simple things. They aren't complex, they aren't international relations, or rocket science, or brain surgery. This is basic information that you must have filled out at some point or the other in your life. And if people can't get that right, how are we supposed to figure out the really complicated stuff? The stuff we need to make the world a better place?
So you know, we can have that form of utopia, a better kind of world, but some yahoo's gonna fill it out wrong. That's why we'll never get it right.
So yeah, you come back to this post for nihilistic whining. I'm sorry. Tomorrow I'll post naked pictures of celebrities. Provided their estate doesn't sue me. But luckily, those monks taught me a few tricks in that area, too...
See, that was a bad metaphor - this IS an abusive relationship.
But I have an excuse. I came down with mutant super-leprosy. I flew on a Concorde I stole from a Frenchman to the mountains of Tibet for a cure. I saw many things, and the monks made me sign a contract that's legally binds me from mentioning the things I learned. However, I can mention that it involves tobasco sauce, over the counter cough medicine, an electric motor, and a tuba.
Anyway, before I noticed the first stage of mutant super-leprosy (violent uncontrolled anal spasms, the second-most painful of all spasms) I was working entering data for credit card applications. Because that is what I do for pleasure, not cash. And I noticed something.
The human race will never achieve its lofty goals.
Although this is an inference. But constantly, constantly on credit card applications people where making mistakes. Simple mistakes. Like writing down your birthday as December 12, 2007, or something. Because we're not interested in your age - only when your birthday is, so that the credit card company may send you a cake and a stripper of your preferred gender or species, if you're a sick bastard and you enjoy that particular -iality.
And people not putting down your income, because really, a credit company doesn't need to know that kind of stuff. We need to know how the business phone, how long you worked there, all that, but we don't need to know how much you make. And you know what, maybe you don't know how much you make. Maybe you just think as long as I can get by, I'm doing fine. Maybe you go to the bank and if money comes out of the ATM, you're set. But if you're that person, maybe you shouldn't be applying for a credit card.
And you know something? All of these are simple things. They aren't complex, they aren't international relations, or rocket science, or brain surgery. This is basic information that you must have filled out at some point or the other in your life. And if people can't get that right, how are we supposed to figure out the really complicated stuff? The stuff we need to make the world a better place?
So you know, we can have that form of utopia, a better kind of world, but some yahoo's gonna fill it out wrong. That's why we'll never get it right.
So yeah, you come back to this post for nihilistic whining. I'm sorry. Tomorrow I'll post naked pictures of celebrities. Provided their estate doesn't sue me. But luckily, those monks taught me a few tricks in that area, too...
posted by Marshall McMahon at 1:18 AM
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