Enough To Make A Luddite Cry

Now, it's hard to be replaced. But it's even harder to be replaced when the guy stabs you in the back and it's only being done because some guy thinks you're not hip enough with a young audience.

When I was younger, I used to watch Saturday morning television. (Now, that's my sleepy time - unless I get up before 10:30, in which case I wonder if maybe I should go out and get some breakfast at McDonalds, because I motherfucking love breakfast at McDonalds.) And on those Saturday mornings, there used to be ads for cereals.

And one of them was Alpha-Bits.

The Alpha-Bits used to have a cereal mascot named The Wizard, who did magical things with his magical wands to kids cereal after he invaded their homes. But it's cool, because he was an unfuckable cereal warlock.

And so it was, that he continued to advertise. Unlike the thief-in-the-night Trix Rabbit, the steroid-enhanced uber-competitor Tony The Tiger, and the paranoid Irish Lucky from Lucky Charms, this guy just worked his shit then left.

Then somewhere, deep in the dark of corporate cereal advertising, disfavour fell on our necromancer. And this spelled his doom.

In the next series of ads, a sidekick appeared for The Wizard. It was Alpha.

And then, over the next series of ads, Alpha wasn't just the sidekick anymore. He was the icon now. And the Wizard went out the way anymore.

Because the new will always eat the old, even after the old has helped the new out.

The Wizard wasn't new, either. There used to be Loveable Truly, the Alpha-Bits postman who delivered the cereal and shit. He replaced the Wizard. And while I haven't seen it, I'm sure somewhere out there there exists a television ad where Loveable Truly is introducing his new friend, The Wizard.