Funny Stuff

Anyway, we're eating Cajun food my grandma made. My grandma asks if I'm taking up ball room classes. I tell her no.

Then she tells me my dad took it up at my age. My brother and I both had a good laugh at that one.

Adios.

My Last Update Before Cypress

Duke_booty@hotmail.com

May have talked to you before this, but some bum comes up to me. He's 6'3", Terminator 1 style glasses, Marilyn Manson t-shirt, pierced everything dangling on his face. First, he asks me for money. He's homeless, unemployed, and needs money badly. I tell him now.

Then he goes, "C'mon man. I'm white."

Racist assumptions run deep, like still waters.

Anyway, just watched Harold and Kumar on satellite. Interesting movie, trying to defy racist assumptions, while showing a hot Latin chick, stupid redneck/racist white guys, etc.

Then I tried to mix a White Russian using my grandpa's drinks. Ended up as more of a Brown Russian, so I threw it out.

Oh, and I was talking to another relative. His son went into music. He's poor now, and lifting stones for money in construction.

I want to be a writer. Hurray for me.

Just To Let You Know I'm Alive...

Haven't been doing much, just working night shifts. I'll probably post more when I go back to school.

Anyway, not much to report. Punched my brother so hard he was still sore the next day. That was pretty cool.

Oh, and in other news, the guy who got the cops called on him for renting bootlegs? Well, now he can't rent no more - even legal ones.

So then me and my brother got pissed and told off the comic book store. "We're not shopping here."

Then they called us up a while ago, and asked if they could do anything to solve the problem.

Still working under Ray. Don't like him. More info about him, no joke - he wears a crappy ugly polo shirt, unbuttoned, with a chain on it. He's a caricature. He's ugly, never smiles, and sucks all around.

Did nothing but watch late night tv, then tv shows on dvd. Returned some movies of The Prisoner (a 60s tv show.) Asked my brother to get the small tv he lent to his friend. Played some video games on a tv. Then I jerked off over the tv and snuggled with it, calling it pet names.

My brain's in a coma now. But a good kind of coma.

Got up in time to write this blog spot. Trying to go back to daily, but making no guarantees. My life isn't interesting, and there's enough things that aren't important.

Going off on a sideline now.

My trivial jizz feeds you, doesn't it, loyal reader? That one guy out there who's 4o, discovered this by random, and has no life other than downloading pictures of anime pre-schooler porn?

Well, I thank you for your loyalty, condemn you for everything else.

When did everything stop being clever? When did everything just rely on shock for thrills? It used to be, to solve a problem, you did something clever, something that you couldn't resolve with violence, except in one part. Now, it's all about how you can shock.

Oh, and one more thing I think I may have mentioned: why is that only cathedrals and grocery markets, like the one I work in, have high ceilings? Why does nothing try to impress any more? I blame democracy. What the people wanted, even if it may not be good for them.

You know what we need? More movies with fat people. Not fat people, like indie fat people, about how they're awkward and normal and everything's sad...just two ugly people who follow the plot of a Julia Roberts/John Cusack romantic movie. Just two ugly people. They can be happy too, right?

Maybe not. It's emotional porn, and everyone imagines themselves to be a movie star. And so we act.

We're our own propagandists. No one ever tells a story where they fucked up. Even me. Even if I told you that I jerked off over pictures of farm animals, I'd be doing that with the knowledge that I knew that you knew how brave it was for me to do that.

Of course, you can be like that one guy I interviewed earlier and just do the artistic equivalent of exposing yourself, trenchcoat-sans-pants style, about the guy who's doing a book about how much he likes hookers. Whoopee.

We need new monsters. No more vampires, zombies, wolfmen, Frankensteins, etc. These are all old concepts. We need new myths, constantly, bang for your buck.

We need chupacabra movies.

Here's an idea I had for a great B-series: 6 Sinners. Basically, every 1000 years, because he lost a bet with God, [Job maybe] Satan has to let out 1 sinner a year. So, because Satan never does anything selflessly, he gets 6 sinners who all died in moral Catch-22s. They have to kill 666 sinners, and the person who reaches that number first gets to go to Heaven. They keep track of it on their forearms. It's a race. They kill innocent people, or force people to sin, their score goes down.

Only got two characters developed so far - Preacher, who caught a man in bed with his wife. Preacher came in with a shotgun, but the guy said, "Kill yourself, or I kill your wife." So he did.

Also a hot samurai geisha, trained by a ronin who fell in love with her, trained her. She killed because she loved him. Some moral problem came up.

Going to Medicine Hat to visit my grandparents and cousins I hate for the weekend. Will update there, hopefully.

Kids laughing annoys me. I just exposed myself.

Questions I've Asked

What colour is the Joker's pubic hair?

Would you jerk off in someone's Corn Flakes for $500?

Why is that their's pictures of dogs on dog food, cats on cat food,etc., but no picture of people on people food?

Why haven't I updated this website ever?

Is relativism a value? Or is that only if we don't apply relativism to history?

Is nihilism fun? Or is that only in a society that isn't nihilistic?

Is Dr. Strange cool?

Is Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham, cool?

If all Bob Geldof is remembered for is Live Aid/Live 8, does that make him a success, at least morally?

Would I survive in prison?

Would I be a good hitman?

Here's a crappy haiku:

I am a villain
Because I don't see good things
Except around me

Adios.