I Am A Succesful Person And People Like Me

I'm an imaginary shopper.

When I buy something, I go in and out, boom, Mission Impossible style.

But when I don't buy anything, I spend more time in the store than ever. This is pathetic - I look at something, turn it around, then put it back. Just today, I imaginary bought a Sid Vicious action figure, a Public Enemy poster, a Johnny Cash compilation CD, and a Mozart CD.

I've rung up quite a debt. And I'm paying for it, in real life.

This is what I do when I'm bored. I'm Edward Norton before he meets Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I need to start a fight club.

That is all.