Me, A Night Clerk
I'm a grocery store night clerk. I'm going to orientation in 2 hours. I'll tell how cheesy it was.
It'll be great, working long hours stocking shelves. I don't get an employee discount, as far as I know. I'm working at Superstore, the Canadian Wal-Mart. Only, we're unionized, Local 1400. So, less evil.
Why do people hate Wal-Mart? Well, everyone shops at Wal-Mart. Then, everybody starts to work at Wal-Mart, too. Then, they close it down because it ain't making no money, like a pimp gets rid of a ho.
Sam Walton's a bigger mack than any mofo.
Of course, while Wal-Mart be big pimpin' out retail stores, there's gotta be the hand that bitchslaps hos. For my superstore, it's Glenn Gottfried.
I wish I could make up names like that.
He looks like a pedophile. Balding, mustache, creepy smile (You know, the one where his eyes don't move, remaining at half mast, while his mouth smiles, showing a few teeth.)
Of course, I could have two crappy jobs. Which is surprising, considering I'm not a single parent, don't have a drug habit, and my parents are paying for college. Of course, as my dad says, it's my job to pay for a fraction of that. You know, because 1/1000 is a fraction.
The second job is a construction worker temp job. The biggest qualification needed for that job is steel-toed boots. I'm calling him today. I'm hoping he'll give me a typing/data entry job. That'd be cool.
Funny story about my typing speed. When I was in Grade 3, we had to take a typing class. I was typing way slower than my classmates. So, then I practiced. Not just in the classroom, but everywhere, usually Church. I imagined the keyboard as if it were on my hands. As a sentence popped up in my head, I typed on that imagined keyboard, getting to know where the keys were, so that I wouldn't have to look.
I can type around 80 words per minute now.
Which'll be great, when I'm a male secretary supporting a bratty kid, smoking crack to forget about how Sheila left me for Rico, and to get me through my job as a night clerk for Superstore, which'll just be closing down because it's become unprofitable.
It'll be great, working long hours stocking shelves. I don't get an employee discount, as far as I know. I'm working at Superstore, the Canadian Wal-Mart. Only, we're unionized, Local 1400. So, less evil.
Why do people hate Wal-Mart? Well, everyone shops at Wal-Mart. Then, everybody starts to work at Wal-Mart, too. Then, they close it down because it ain't making no money, like a pimp gets rid of a ho.
Sam Walton's a bigger mack than any mofo.
Of course, while Wal-Mart be big pimpin' out retail stores, there's gotta be the hand that bitchslaps hos. For my superstore, it's Glenn Gottfried.
I wish I could make up names like that.
He looks like a pedophile. Balding, mustache, creepy smile (You know, the one where his eyes don't move, remaining at half mast, while his mouth smiles, showing a few teeth.)
Of course, I could have two crappy jobs. Which is surprising, considering I'm not a single parent, don't have a drug habit, and my parents are paying for college. Of course, as my dad says, it's my job to pay for a fraction of that. You know, because 1/1000 is a fraction.
The second job is a construction worker temp job. The biggest qualification needed for that job is steel-toed boots. I'm calling him today. I'm hoping he'll give me a typing/data entry job. That'd be cool.
Funny story about my typing speed. When I was in Grade 3, we had to take a typing class. I was typing way slower than my classmates. So, then I practiced. Not just in the classroom, but everywhere, usually Church. I imagined the keyboard as if it were on my hands. As a sentence popped up in my head, I typed on that imagined keyboard, getting to know where the keys were, so that I wouldn't have to look.
I can type around 80 words per minute now.
Which'll be great, when I'm a male secretary supporting a bratty kid, smoking crack to forget about how Sheila left me for Rico, and to get me through my job as a night clerk for Superstore, which'll just be closing down because it's become unprofitable.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 2:56 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home