How To Live Like Me...
1. If it's over 10 bucks, it's a luxury.
2. Food has no price limit.
3. But, if you're in the store, get it cheaper.
4. Eveyrwhere you go, dress like you're trying to impress somebody. Try and wear a suit everywhere you go, if you're a dude.
5. If these clothes get uncomfortable, adjust them to make them comfortable, within reason. Undo the top button.
6. Dollar stores are your friend. If it's there, get it.
7. Cheap is good.
8. If you don't want to do something fun, don't do it.
9. If someone you like wants you to do something fun with them, even if it's not your kind of fun, do it anyway.
10. Blue, black, grey, red, and white are the only colours suitable for dudes.
11. Never wear pink or makeup.
12. Never smile.
13. If you see a guy in a store, don't make contact. Just talk to people if you actually want to start a conversation.
14. Don't talk too much. Part of the Kevin principle.
15. If you're going bald, go all the way.
16. Don't wear dreadlocks if you are white.
17. Shampoo+conditioner, soap, and toothpaste are all you need to keep clean.
18. Shower every day.
18. Don't get drunk. That's for alkies.
19. Don't do drugs. That's for druggies.
20. Go to bed whenever you can get 8 hours of sleep before you have to do something the next day. For example, got something at 10? Go to bed at 1. That gives you until 9, when you can wake up and do 16 and 17.
21. When in doubt, fuck 'em.
21. Always be confident. Normally, thi swould require feeling good about yourself, but you're not that great. So, think of everyone else as lesser than you.
22. Read one good book a week.
23. Do one hard thing a day. Then, right after you do that, do one easy, fun thing. Keep on repeating.
24. Don't bring attention to yourself intentionally. It can't be done.
25. You see that guy on the street? Well, take a good look at him, because you won't see him again. So do whatever you want.
26. Guys dress quiet, girls dress loud. See 11.
27. Remember, everyone feels that way.
28. Suck it up.
29. Don't listen to emo music.
30. Learn to laugh at horror movies.
31. Your time is your own.
32. Pursue a girl you can reasonably see yourself dumping.
33. Don't quote movies. Ever.
34. Let other people try to impress you.
35. Do one thing a day you don't want to do. It's probably good for you.
That is all.
2. Food has no price limit.
3. But, if you're in the store, get it cheaper.
4. Eveyrwhere you go, dress like you're trying to impress somebody. Try and wear a suit everywhere you go, if you're a dude.
5. If these clothes get uncomfortable, adjust them to make them comfortable, within reason. Undo the top button.
6. Dollar stores are your friend. If it's there, get it.
7. Cheap is good.
8. If you don't want to do something fun, don't do it.
9. If someone you like wants you to do something fun with them, even if it's not your kind of fun, do it anyway.
10. Blue, black, grey, red, and white are the only colours suitable for dudes.
11. Never wear pink or makeup.
12. Never smile.
13. If you see a guy in a store, don't make contact. Just talk to people if you actually want to start a conversation.
14. Don't talk too much. Part of the Kevin principle.
15. If you're going bald, go all the way.
16. Don't wear dreadlocks if you are white.
17. Shampoo+conditioner, soap, and toothpaste are all you need to keep clean.
18. Shower every day.
18. Don't get drunk. That's for alkies.
19. Don't do drugs. That's for druggies.
20. Go to bed whenever you can get 8 hours of sleep before you have to do something the next day. For example, got something at 10? Go to bed at 1. That gives you until 9, when you can wake up and do 16 and 17.
21. When in doubt, fuck 'em.
21. Always be confident. Normally, thi swould require feeling good about yourself, but you're not that great. So, think of everyone else as lesser than you.
22. Read one good book a week.
23. Do one hard thing a day. Then, right after you do that, do one easy, fun thing. Keep on repeating.
24. Don't bring attention to yourself intentionally. It can't be done.
25. You see that guy on the street? Well, take a good look at him, because you won't see him again. So do whatever you want.
26. Guys dress quiet, girls dress loud. See 11.
27. Remember, everyone feels that way.
28. Suck it up.
29. Don't listen to emo music.
30. Learn to laugh at horror movies.
31. Your time is your own.
32. Pursue a girl you can reasonably see yourself dumping.
33. Don't quote movies. Ever.
34. Let other people try to impress you.
35. Do one thing a day you don't want to do. It's probably good for you.
That is all.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 12:02 AM
1 Comments:
No self-respecting man uses conditioner in his hair.
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