The Article (Funny Remix)
Baby, Burro, And Too Many Tigers
While the Metro Zoo is preparing to get a new elephant and a burro, it must figure out how to get rid of their tigers' overflowing offspring.
A 6000 pound Baby is coming over the border. Call the neighbours. Baby is the name of the female African elephant being brought over, and he was purchased from the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago.
Hope he gets along with the new burro, whose name will be chosen by the gaping schoolchildren that mildly annoy him. He can look forward to hundreds of those buggers after coming from a ranch in Alberta where he was in cramped quarter with hundreds of his sperm brothers that all came from the same fertile burro, in a kind of Brave New Burro World, as predicted by Huxley. The name will be decided by vote by the small school children he probably hates. His name and his subsequent identity and psyche we place upon him anthropomorphically will depend on which group you want to offend most: Greeks (Cyrus, Cyrano), Mexicans (Pancho, Chico) or Winnie The Pooh fans (Eeyore).
Forget rabbits. The phrase should be "breeding like tigers" now. Tigers are having sex too much, and producing too many babies, like every Republicans nightmare of what poor people do. The zoo has no room, and other zoos won't accept them. One local Sanitation Engineer working at Metro, Sylvester Smythe, said: "We've got too much tigers? Why? They're breeding too much? Man, that'd be something...two tigers fucking. Anywya, if they've got too much, I know me and my cousin would like to hunt the little bastards, I mean, you can only hunt deer and squirrel and moose and the occasional hobo for so long before you start getting bored...shit, you know? I say we castrate 'em all, so they can't reproduce no more, and then what we do, is we make 'em fight. That'd be cool. The tiger who wins gets to impregnate all the girl tigers. Everybody wins. I know what them damn liberal rights fuckers would say, but screw 'em. I saw a kid...he slipped into the cage once, while back. Tiger ate him up." Sylvester was then informed by his superior that he didn't see anything of the sort.
Options for the tigers include vasectomies for the males (like what your father had after you were born) or birth control drugs for the females (or as your mother likes to call it, "Work Expenses")
This article bought to you by Big Business - If you can't see us, we're not there!
Dieser Artikel, wird gekauft der zu Ihnen durch Großes Geschäft - Wenn Sie uns nicht sehen können, sind wir nicht dort!
While the Metro Zoo is preparing to get a new elephant and a burro, it must figure out how to get rid of their tigers' overflowing offspring.
A 6000 pound Baby is coming over the border. Call the neighbours. Baby is the name of the female African elephant being brought over, and he was purchased from the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago.
Hope he gets along with the new burro, whose name will be chosen by the gaping schoolchildren that mildly annoy him. He can look forward to hundreds of those buggers after coming from a ranch in Alberta where he was in cramped quarter with hundreds of his sperm brothers that all came from the same fertile burro, in a kind of Brave New Burro World, as predicted by Huxley. The name will be decided by vote by the small school children he probably hates. His name and his subsequent identity and psyche we place upon him anthropomorphically will depend on which group you want to offend most: Greeks (Cyrus, Cyrano), Mexicans (Pancho, Chico) or Winnie The Pooh fans (Eeyore).
Forget rabbits. The phrase should be "breeding like tigers" now. Tigers are having sex too much, and producing too many babies, like every Republicans nightmare of what poor people do. The zoo has no room, and other zoos won't accept them. One local Sanitation Engineer working at Metro, Sylvester Smythe, said: "We've got too much tigers? Why? They're breeding too much? Man, that'd be something...two tigers fucking. Anywya, if they've got too much, I know me and my cousin would like to hunt the little bastards, I mean, you can only hunt deer and squirrel and moose and the occasional hobo for so long before you start getting bored...shit, you know? I say we castrate 'em all, so they can't reproduce no more, and then what we do, is we make 'em fight. That'd be cool. The tiger who wins gets to impregnate all the girl tigers. Everybody wins. I know what them damn liberal rights fuckers would say, but screw 'em. I saw a kid...he slipped into the cage once, while back. Tiger ate him up." Sylvester was then informed by his superior that he didn't see anything of the sort.
Options for the tigers include vasectomies for the males (like what your father had after you were born) or birth control drugs for the females (or as your mother likes to call it, "Work Expenses")
This article bought to you by Big Business - If you can't see us, we're not there!
Dieser Artikel, wird gekauft der zu Ihnen durch Großes Geschäft - Wenn Sie uns nicht sehen können, sind wir nicht dort!
posted by Marshall McMahon at 9:00 PM
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