Unique Porn
Walking past the Red Light block of stores right near Ryerson, I got an idea into my head that has previously popped up in there. As a part time job, I'd like to work at a porn store. I think just waiting for the customer to ask a question would be worth the job.
"Um...excuse me, can you make any recommendations?"
"No, I don't watch that filth."
And then, they'd walk off. That, plus the feeling of moral superiority I'd get every time a customer walked in. "Well, at least I'm not him".
And while some have likened the job to that of a drug dealer, the drug dealer's folly lies in that he tries to get people hooked on this stuff, and helps create this need..."Hey kid, wanna try some? It's good shit." Hence, his wrong doing. However, sexuality is an innate urge, which these lonely freaks can't express, and hence, must relieve through watching "Grand Theft Anal", or something like that.
(Interesting story about truth being stranger than fiction - Friends thought they were being particularly witty and clever when they came up with that one. Until they went perousing a local pornographic shop and found one in there.)
All this, plus the fact that porn-peddling couldn't get sent up to Rykers and be partnered with "Big Horny Bubba", serving five to fifteen for b and e. Unlike, say, drug-dealing.
Before we begin, let me say that I have a somewhat unique taste in music. I can listen to Undertones as easy as Charlie Mingus. If you don't know either, I've done my job. I thought this made me unique. I wanted to be unique; I loathe the top 40, and this way, I wasn't like the herd.
Evidently, there's just a smaller herd. Met another guy, Andrew. He's got a unique taste for music, too - likes to listen to Jazz. There's a feature on iTunes (which he recommended I download) which lets people listen to music other people have downloaded. I checked it out. He listens to jazz, too, and punk, and all the other bands I liked which I thought made me unique and musically nerdly knowledgeable...even Dick Dale, 60s surfer rock king!
That's the problem with trying to be uniquely cool - there's someone just as unique and cool as you.
Yo no puedo hablar español.
I cannot speak Spanish.
"Um...excuse me, can you make any recommendations?"
"No, I don't watch that filth."
And then, they'd walk off. That, plus the feeling of moral superiority I'd get every time a customer walked in. "Well, at least I'm not him".
And while some have likened the job to that of a drug dealer, the drug dealer's folly lies in that he tries to get people hooked on this stuff, and helps create this need..."Hey kid, wanna try some? It's good shit." Hence, his wrong doing. However, sexuality is an innate urge, which these lonely freaks can't express, and hence, must relieve through watching "Grand Theft Anal", or something like that.
(Interesting story about truth being stranger than fiction - Friends thought they were being particularly witty and clever when they came up with that one. Until they went perousing a local pornographic shop and found one in there.)
All this, plus the fact that porn-peddling couldn't get sent up to Rykers and be partnered with "Big Horny Bubba", serving five to fifteen for b and e. Unlike, say, drug-dealing.
Before we begin, let me say that I have a somewhat unique taste in music. I can listen to Undertones as easy as Charlie Mingus. If you don't know either, I've done my job. I thought this made me unique. I wanted to be unique; I loathe the top 40, and this way, I wasn't like the herd.
Evidently, there's just a smaller herd. Met another guy, Andrew. He's got a unique taste for music, too - likes to listen to Jazz. There's a feature on iTunes (which he recommended I download) which lets people listen to music other people have downloaded. I checked it out. He listens to jazz, too, and punk, and all the other bands I liked which I thought made me unique and musically nerdly knowledgeable...even Dick Dale, 60s surfer rock king!
That's the problem with trying to be uniquely cool - there's someone just as unique and cool as you.
Yo no puedo hablar español.
I cannot speak Spanish.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 10:06 PM
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