Cartoons
Rocket Robin Hood rules. Jet Arrows rule. Jeremy rules. All right, out of a show, half of it is made up an explanation of the plot, theme song, and explanation of the characters. The show rules in its crapitude.
Who is Jeremy, you ask? Jeremy is Robin's one episode sidekick. His amazing ability? To make any sound in his mouth, just like that guy in Police Academy! Because that's who you want when you're taking on a galactic despot Prince John. This show rules. Okay, now there was a lion that was supposed to take out two entire regiments of soldiers. However, Jeremy started to making purring noises. So now he says, "He doesn't want to eat people....he just wanted...a friend!" Now that's crappy stuff.
Anyway, in no particular order, my favorite cartoons that are so bad they're goooood, baby...
1. Street Sharks. Basically, humanoids got merged with sharks for some fucking reason. Oh, and they were street punks. By the way, this had nothing to do with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It rocked because it was so bad.
2. Ghostbusters, not the real movie ghostbusters, but a cheap ass imitation.
3. Captain Planet, because it had Whoopi Goldberg as the Earth Goddess. And Sting. And a bunch of other hippy voice actors. And this one Indian kid with a Heart ring that beat out Aquaman in terms of team uselessness.
4. Creepy Crawlies. Because we all know that an excuse for kids to bake insects into creation serves as a good basis for a television program.
5. The Bots Master. It was in the 90s, and it featured this guy who had some robots. He made the robots, and then fought the government, or some rich guy, I can't remember. It was cool, though. He had a sister.
6. "Cartoon All Stars To The Rescue", the only place ever where you'll find both Garfield, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Smurfs all in one place. It had some trippy sequences where the kid smoked pot, or something, and then he started tripping out, and seeing a bunch of scary shit. I want to become addicted to drugs, just to watch that movie high.
7. Captain N, because it featured lotsa old school video game characters, with no plot.
And the king of them all, Action Man. (Amp it up!)
1. Action Man. A show that was so cliched, so hackneyed, so written by and for retarded children, it was the best damn thing on television. Based on a British show that was actually good, this show was the only one to feature a pimp, a jailbait sidekick, and a Morpheus rip off, all on one show. To top it all off, he was an extreme sports guy/secret agent/man who played by his rules. He fought Dr. X, the most generic bad guy ever. And an electric dude. This show ruled. I want the box set, with directors commentary.
My favorite kidz cartoons, excluding anime:
1. Transformers
2. GI Joe
3.Spider-Man (67)
4. Ned's Newt
5. Beast Wars
6. The Tick
7. All Looney Tunes ever made.
Who is Jeremy, you ask? Jeremy is Robin's one episode sidekick. His amazing ability? To make any sound in his mouth, just like that guy in Police Academy! Because that's who you want when you're taking on a galactic despot Prince John. This show rules. Okay, now there was a lion that was supposed to take out two entire regiments of soldiers. However, Jeremy started to making purring noises. So now he says, "He doesn't want to eat people....he just wanted...a friend!" Now that's crappy stuff.
Anyway, in no particular order, my favorite cartoons that are so bad they're goooood, baby...
1. Street Sharks. Basically, humanoids got merged with sharks for some fucking reason. Oh, and they were street punks. By the way, this had nothing to do with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It rocked because it was so bad.
2. Ghostbusters, not the real movie ghostbusters, but a cheap ass imitation.
3. Captain Planet, because it had Whoopi Goldberg as the Earth Goddess. And Sting. And a bunch of other hippy voice actors. And this one Indian kid with a Heart ring that beat out Aquaman in terms of team uselessness.
4. Creepy Crawlies. Because we all know that an excuse for kids to bake insects into creation serves as a good basis for a television program.
5. The Bots Master. It was in the 90s, and it featured this guy who had some robots. He made the robots, and then fought the government, or some rich guy, I can't remember. It was cool, though. He had a sister.
6. "Cartoon All Stars To The Rescue", the only place ever where you'll find both Garfield, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Smurfs all in one place. It had some trippy sequences where the kid smoked pot, or something, and then he started tripping out, and seeing a bunch of scary shit. I want to become addicted to drugs, just to watch that movie high.
7. Captain N, because it featured lotsa old school video game characters, with no plot.
And the king of them all, Action Man. (Amp it up!)
1. Action Man. A show that was so cliched, so hackneyed, so written by and for retarded children, it was the best damn thing on television. Based on a British show that was actually good, this show was the only one to feature a pimp, a jailbait sidekick, and a Morpheus rip off, all on one show. To top it all off, he was an extreme sports guy/secret agent/man who played by his rules. He fought Dr. X, the most generic bad guy ever. And an electric dude. This show ruled. I want the box set, with directors commentary.
My favorite kidz cartoons, excluding anime:
1. Transformers
2. GI Joe
3.Spider-Man (67)
4. Ned's Newt
5. Beast Wars
6. The Tick
7. All Looney Tunes ever made.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 4:59 AM
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