Nerdvana
Hi, my name is [Censored Due to Nerd Denial] , and I go to an anime club.
Hi, [Censored Due To Nerd Denial].
Anyway, this night, there were video games and whatnot, so you had to pay 10 bucks. A short transcript of the dialogue.
Me: You know, Judas sold his soul for thirty silver dollars. I wondered if ten dollars would suffice for any future coolness on my part?
Cashier: Oh, shut the fuck up, guy!
He then stamped me on the hand.
Me: The mark of the beast.
Anyway, saw some interesting guys there.
The Goth Kid - They dress weird, so they can get group assurance that they're an individual and that they don't care about what the group think.
He Who Lives With His Parents - These are a separate subspecies of nerds. He looked past 30, must've lived with his parents, wore a Gundam Wing t-shirt he's probably been wearing since 1996 (back when they were popular), and shouldn't be at a college anime thing. He had another friend there, too. These are guys who have giving up not paying for sex. Except, they're probably too shy even to approach women and pay them. Masturbation does it fer 'em.
The Dude With The Haircut - Hairstyles can signify certain hairstyles. Buzzcuts indicate military service, or if you're a female, that you're a bull dyke. Dreadlocks indicate a preference that you like Jamaican culture or pot. Or both. There's one for nerds, as well. The Harry Knowles haircut. Now, in order to understand the fallacy of this haircut in all its glory, you have to understand the basis for fashion at all. It's to attract the opposite sex. I can honestly say no woman or man or even farm animal would be attracted by this haircut.
Because of all this, I commented to myself, "I'm like James Dean, the Fonz, and Presley all rolled into one in this place."
Well, on a tangential note, these represent the triumvirate of cool that can exist within American culture.
Why these three figures?
The Fonz is retro cool, kitschy but still popular enough and stupid enough to get attention.
James Dean is the rebel who isn't whiny but is still tormented, something that most "cool" teenagers miss out on. He's what we want (or wanted) to be as a teenager.
Elvis Presley is the guy we want to be when we're older. Still older, but still cool, still got style, still got that old Vegas charm.
However, one odd thing put my coolness in perspective - an attractive girl.
An attractive girl at a nerd trap. The room only had one exit. If I was a nerd hunter, I'd go for us there. Her presence would be like a Born Again Christian being present at a Satanists for Hedonism gathering.
Weirder thing, though - she was wearing cat ears.
Now obviously, she must either have a boyfriend whom she loves more than life itself, or who has incriminating/embarassing photos of her, or she's proven that nerds can be attractive.
Probably the former. Simple logic.
Nerds like anime.
Nerds are unattractive.
Someone who is a nerd likes anime and/or is not attractive.
Someone who is not a nerd does not like anime and/or is attractive.
Interesting thing, though. I'd imagine that most nerds are proud of their individuality. But, put enough "individuals" together, and they become a crowd too.
Now, to explain. There was a prize system in place, to justify the 10 dollar price tag. Their premise was based upon an episode of Family Guy, a show that'll probably become this generation's Monty Python. In it, Peter is faced with a choice between a free boat or the Mystery Box. He chose the Box, which yielded a much poorer prize. Likewise, lucky winners could choose the guaranteed prize, or the Mystery Box.
Now, everyone chanted for the lucky winner to get the box.
The box consistently yielded a poorer prize. Guess the crowd couldn't get it through their head. I overheard a passing comment, "9 out of 10 times the box got a crappy prize."
Guess who was 1/10th?
Me. I got a Macross Set Box #1, list price: $80. The best prize, there.
I guess God likes the cool guy, too.
But wait, another guy got a DVD - the one guy who didn't pick the Box.
Oh, and weirdly enough, another girl got satisfied with Pocky instead of a DVD.
Heh.
Nerds.
ジェームスの学部長はFonz より涼しい。
James Dean is cooler than the Fonz.
Hi, [Censored Due To Nerd Denial]
Anyway, this night, there were video games and whatnot, so you had to pay 10 bucks. A short transcript of the dialogue.
Me: You know, Judas sold his soul for thirty silver dollars. I wondered if ten dollars would suffice for any future coolness on my part?
Cashier: Oh, shut the fuck up, guy!
He then stamped me on the hand.
Me: The mark of the beast.
Anyway, saw some interesting guys there.
The Goth Kid - They dress weird, so they can get group assurance that they're an individual and that they don't care about what the group think.
He Who Lives With His Parents - These are a separate subspecies of nerds. He looked past 30, must've lived with his parents, wore a Gundam Wing t-shirt he's probably been wearing since 1996 (back when they were popular), and shouldn't be at a college anime thing. He had another friend there, too. These are guys who have giving up not paying for sex. Except, they're probably too shy even to approach women and pay them. Masturbation does it fer 'em.
The Dude With The Haircut - Hairstyles can signify certain hairstyles. Buzzcuts indicate military service, or if you're a female, that you're a bull dyke. Dreadlocks indicate a preference that you like Jamaican culture or pot. Or both. There's one for nerds, as well. The Harry Knowles haircut. Now, in order to understand the fallacy of this haircut in all its glory, you have to understand the basis for fashion at all. It's to attract the opposite sex. I can honestly say no woman or man or even farm animal would be attracted by this haircut.
Because of all this, I commented to myself, "I'm like James Dean, the Fonz, and Presley all rolled into one in this place."
Well, on a tangential note, these represent the triumvirate of cool that can exist within American culture.
Why these three figures?
The Fonz is retro cool, kitschy but still popular enough and stupid enough to get attention.
James Dean is the rebel who isn't whiny but is still tormented, something that most "cool" teenagers miss out on. He's what we want (or wanted) to be as a teenager.
Elvis Presley is the guy we want to be when we're older. Still older, but still cool, still got style, still got that old Vegas charm.
However, one odd thing put my coolness in perspective - an attractive girl.
An attractive girl at a nerd trap. The room only had one exit. If I was a nerd hunter, I'd go for us there. Her presence would be like a Born Again Christian being present at a Satanists for Hedonism gathering.
Weirder thing, though - she was wearing cat ears.
Now obviously, she must either have a boyfriend whom she loves more than life itself, or who has incriminating/embarassing photos of her, or she's proven that nerds can be attractive.
Probably the former. Simple logic.
Nerds like anime.
Nerds are unattractive.
Someone who is a nerd likes anime and/or is not attractive.
Someone who is not a nerd does not like anime and/or is attractive.
Interesting thing, though. I'd imagine that most nerds are proud of their individuality. But, put enough "individuals" together, and they become a crowd too.
Now, to explain. There was a prize system in place, to justify the 10 dollar price tag. Their premise was based upon an episode of Family Guy, a show that'll probably become this generation's Monty Python. In it, Peter is faced with a choice between a free boat or the Mystery Box. He chose the Box, which yielded a much poorer prize. Likewise, lucky winners could choose the guaranteed prize, or the Mystery Box.
Now, everyone chanted for the lucky winner to get the box.
The box consistently yielded a poorer prize. Guess the crowd couldn't get it through their head. I overheard a passing comment, "9 out of 10 times the box got a crappy prize."
Guess who was 1/10th?
Me. I got a Macross Set Box #1, list price: $80. The best prize, there.
I guess God likes the cool guy, too.
But wait, another guy got a DVD - the one guy who didn't pick the Box.
Oh, and weirdly enough, another girl got satisfied with Pocky instead of a DVD.
Heh.
Nerds.
ジェームスの学部長はFonz より涼しい。
James Dean is cooler than the Fonz.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 10:03 PM
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