You Know You're A Nerd When...
Like Jeff Foxworthy's redneck schtick, I'm composing a list of nerdy things, specific instances where you know that you're a nerd. Not a fake nerd, not a cool guy saying, "Oh, I'm not so cool," in a faux attempt to be humble, but true, honest to God, nerd-dom. If you don't know the references I'm making, congratulations. You're not a nerd.
Let's begin.
- Video games get to you emotionally.
- Bonus Point - You cried at the death of Aeris.
- You ever wondered who would win in a fight.
- Bonus Point You ever wondered who would win in a fight, Galactus or Unicron, and you write up fight statistics, and you argue on message boards.
- You say "That's not right! He would NEVER DO THAT!" in any reference to something in fiction.
- Bonus Point - You write an angry letter to the company, with a lot of swear words and explicit references to the issue.
- You write a fanfic sequel to a video game.
- Bonus Point - You write an erotic fanfic sequel to a board game.
- You play role playing card games (Dungeons and Dragons, and the like.)
- Bonus Point: You dress up, have all the cards, all the decks, and sometimes you're the Dungeon Master. And you play with ten-year-old kids.
- You play video games too much.
- Bonus Point: You play a Japanese RPG with no English text and you play it on your modded PlayStation 2.
- You jerk off too much.
- Bonus Point: You jerk off to Sailor Moon.
- Extra Bonus Point: You jerk off to hentai of Sailor Moon.
- Extra Special Bonus Point: You dress up like Sailor Moon, and jerk off whilst dressed as Sailor Moon while singing the Sailor Moon theme song.
- You're a furry.
- Bonus Point: You're a goddamn furry. Go into a pile of garbage and drown, so that we don't even have to deal with disposing of your body.
- You're Doomed Point: You write erotic furry fanfic of a Japanese RPG based on who you think would win in a fight and which deals with all the logical inconsitencies in the show, while dressed up as the preteen girl from that Japanese RPG and you're jerking off while doing it.
Let's begin.
- Video games get to you emotionally.
- Bonus Point - You cried at the death of Aeris.
- You ever wondered who would win in a fight.
- Bonus Point You ever wondered who would win in a fight, Galactus or Unicron, and you write up fight statistics, and you argue on message boards.
- You say "That's not right! He would NEVER DO THAT!" in any reference to something in fiction.
- Bonus Point - You write an angry letter to the company, with a lot of swear words and explicit references to the issue.
- You write a fanfic sequel to a video game.
- Bonus Point - You write an erotic fanfic sequel to a board game.
- You play role playing card games (Dungeons and Dragons, and the like.)
- Bonus Point: You dress up, have all the cards, all the decks, and sometimes you're the Dungeon Master. And you play with ten-year-old kids.
- You play video games too much.
- Bonus Point: You play a Japanese RPG with no English text and you play it on your modded PlayStation 2.
- You jerk off too much.
- Bonus Point: You jerk off to Sailor Moon.
- Extra Bonus Point: You jerk off to hentai of Sailor Moon.
- Extra Special Bonus Point: You dress up like Sailor Moon, and jerk off whilst dressed as Sailor Moon while singing the Sailor Moon theme song.
- You're a furry.
- Bonus Point: You're a goddamn furry. Go into a pile of garbage and drown, so that we don't even have to deal with disposing of your body.
- You're Doomed Point: You write erotic furry fanfic of a Japanese RPG based on who you think would win in a fight and which deals with all the logical inconsitencies in the show, while dressed up as the preteen girl from that Japanese RPG and you're jerking off while doing it.
posted by Marshall McMahon at 1:14 AM
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