I Am A Failure

I have no journalistic tendencies.

Okay, as part of my online journalism course, we have to write down what we're doing right now - what magazines we're contributing to. I put nothing, because I'm doing nothing.

And then I see other people, trying to confirm my nothingness was not alone.

Which it wasn't. Because those fuckers actually do something with their writing.

So now I feel like a failure. Even though I don't really want to become a journalist. I'm just doing this to have a back-up. Make sure I have something to fall back on, in case it turns out I suck.

I basically want to win at things that I don't really want to do. Seriously. Even if it's a "See How Many Times You Can Stab Yourself Before Passing Out" contest, I'll beat them by a good 47. I don't chicken out. Even if it's a video game I've never played before, I have a broken controller, and I'm playing with masters, I'll yank my hair out and do my best to beat the shit out of them.

I'm competitive.

So I'm going to apply to a bunch of magazines.