Sunday, October 30, 2005

I Got 99 Problems, But Being A Bitch Ain't One

So in addition to my painful nerdom, I am now a wigger. Thankyew.

Some old stuff, some new stuff, nothing about me being Don Juan to myself.

New stuff:
My unit mate has problems. Her mother, a costume designer, made her a harem design. You know, like a whore, only classier. Sort of like a concubine. I could do with some concubines. Concubines. Say it with me, it's fun! Seriously, when did Halloween go from trick-or-treating to 20 year old women using it as an excuse to dress up like whores? Fucking literally, in this case?

So in addition to global warming, nuclear war, comets, alien invasion, robots, we can now add volcanoes to things that will end our life on Earth.

By the way, remember the last time in aides/close friends of the President were criminally charged? 1972.

Because I like to be behind the times, I'm listening to Jay-Z/Danger Mouse "Grey Album."

Speaking of which, the 80s weren't so bad. They had Public Enemy, Dead Kennedys, along with Whitesnake and Spandau Ballet. You know Whitesnake is actually on the top selling albums of all time? 250, or something. Scary.

I just downloaded the Stone Roses, too. Nice wuss rock. Now, that may seem like an oxymoron, or a stab against the Stone Roses, but it's not. Now, nobody should go to a wuss rock concert. It's shameful, and I only admit listening to the Roses because this site has two readers, if you believe the posts - the guys who tell me about their people searches, free credits, natural penis enlargements, person searches, and Benoit Benavouis. Thanks for keeping the faith, brother Benoit.

By the way, am I the only one who thinks that people who think they're vampires should be mocked ruthlessly, because they're suffering under a willful delusion?

I ask this because for Halloween, the university paper (you know, fight the power, change the system, ha ha we're funny bullshit I'm sure you've read/heard about) did 1500 words about how cool and mysterious people who think they're vampires are.

The link's here.
You will laugh out loud.

Okay, favourite quote. "But it's also scary, because it's one of two things - we're either a bunch of vampires pretending to be people, or a bunch of adults running around dressed as vampires."

No, that's not scary. That's funny, because you honestly believe that you're scary. A convicted rapist with a knife in a dark alley is scary. You are not scary. You are a Goth fag. You think you are a "psyvampire."

Oh, and you can tell that Victoria Scrozzo, the writer of this article, is wetting her little Gothie panties over this Baron Marcus loser.

You can tell by this quote about "Baron Marcus," (probably Mark Humperdinck from Scranton, Pennsylvania), "In fact, the Baron's persona reminded me of Lestat, Rice's rebellious French aristocrat turned vampire rock-star." Goddamn you, Anne Rice.

By the way, there's no counter-point - it's all about how cool and mysterious being a vampire is. Not one counteropinion. No blood workers, psychologists, sane people, not even a vampire hunter. Seriously, why no vampire hunters? "Yes, he says it's mysterious and sexy, but we all know that these vampires must be hunted down and destroyed!"

Seriously, how detached are these people are people from reality?

P.S. I am secretly a werewolf.
P.P.S. Archie and The Gang Go Goth! Here.
P.P.P.S. The hot Goth chick is a myth. Sure, there's been sightings, (a hot girl wearing black) but for people who are Gotsh every day, who really put in the hours, they aren't hot.
P.P.P.P.S. "Baron Marcus" ain't scary, but seeing Archie Goth will give me nightmares.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great blog! I couldn't derive half the fantastic ideas that you come up with.
My stepping stone site is off topic but still noteworthy. Can you teach this kind of creative thinking? Is it something you were born with? Keep the fabulous ideas coming!
Lets say a prayer for our boys in Iraq and hope for the best!!

1:09 AM  
Blogger Benoît Beauvais said...

Merde! I was beaten by Monsieur Anonymous.

And what happened to the blog. Did the vampires get to you? Did they force you to remove it? Do you need a blood transfusion?

Ref:
http://www.theeyeopener.com/storydetail.cfm?storyid=2260

4:42 PM  
Blogger Marshall McMahon said...

Nothing happened to Nothing Important. I just removed the Goth part of it b/c I thought I might show it to the editor of my school's newspaper, but then I decided to just say fuck it, because there's Nothing Important on this website.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Benoît Beauvais said...

Oh good, I was scared for a minute.

Oh and have you read Anne Rice's new Christian book?

As for the vampire article: "Besides, some vampires might not be created, but born as vampires." The next thing you know they'll be saying people are born gay.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Marshall McMahon said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:36 PM  
Blogger Marshall McMahon said...

I have not read her book. Sounds like she's in it for the money, after all.

8:37 PM  

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